long reads on love, practice, and the inner work of building relationships outside the default. written by tessakin, discussed in the spaces below.
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13 essays
there have been nights when i’ve walked into a party, a kink space, or a social setting and found myself in the same room with more than one lover.
Tessakin · apr 10, 2026 · 4 min read
garden party polyamory takes its name from the image of a relaxed, open-air gathering where guests are welcomed into a shared space but there is no expectation for deep intimacy with everyone present.
Tessakin · mar 30, 2026 · 3 min read
kitchen table polyamory refers to a style of relationships where all partners are comfortable and familiar with each other, often to the extent of sharing meals or socializing together.
Tessakin · mar 19, 2026 · 2 min read
commitment is the steadfast dedication to the growth and longevity of a relationship, and the willingness to navigate challenges together.
Tessakin · mar 8, 2026 · 2 min read
polyamorous people are among the most committed people you will ever meet.
Tessakin · feb 25, 2026 · 2 min read
in kink, consent isn't a box you check once at the start. it's a living thing you keep asking for, keep offering, and can always take back. here's why it sits at the center of everything.
Tessakin · feb 23, 2026 · 2 min read
a kink scene is a built thing. it has a before, a during, and an after, and the care you put into each part is what makes the whole thing feel safe enough to let go inside. here's how the pieces fit together.
Tessakin · feb 16, 2026 · 3 min read
trust is the foundation upon which love is built, and in polyamorous relationships, this truth holds even greater weight.
Tessakin · feb 14, 2026 · 2 min read
polyamory and kink are two different things that often share the same room. one is about how many people you love; the other is about how you play. here's what happens where they overlap, and what makes that overlap work.
Tessakin · feb 9, 2026 · 2 min read
at the core of every healthy relationship lies mutual respect, a vital pillar of love.
Tessakin · feb 3, 2026 · 2 min read
attachment theory emerged from observations of how infants bond with caregivers and what happens when those bonds are disrupted.
Tessakin · jan 23, 2026 · 3 min read
the ancient Greeks had multiple words to describe different types of love, each with its own nuanced meaning.
Tessakin · jan 12, 2026 · 3 min read